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Chris Li was born on December 24, one day before Jesus Christ. Coincidence? Almost certainly. But one cannot ignore the abnormal—and perhaps supernatural—circumstances of his birth: Indeed, Chris strode ably from his mother’s womb dressed head-to-toe in a well-pressed three-piece suit, his black hair perfectly coiffed, whereupon he seized his father’s hand in a firm grip and politely introduced himself in a fully developed bass.
Chris made an impression on the Meddies almost instantly, urging them during his audition to “take a look at [his] enormous penis.” After some initial confusion, it was later learned that this suggestion was neither a misguided attempt at seduction nor a misinterpretation of the Meddies’ admissions criteria, but rather a lyric from Chris’s probably-ironic audition solo.
Groomed in the 230-year tradition of the prestigious Phillips Andover Academy, Chris possesses the Old Boy manners and mannerisms that predate the fall of chivalry, much as the startling forcefulness of his voice predates the invention of microphones. One of Chris’s most distinctive characteristics is his trademark laugh, a rich, subdued chuckle that regularly cuts through the unrestrained cackling of his fellow Meddies as if to say, “What a merry band of roguish knaves are we!”